Lord of the Rings: Cast no Love, have no fear

This story is
AU because there is no ring and no Sauron. Humans don't believe in elves
and the elves are distrustful and hateful of the humans. Legolas is not
an elf prince and Aragorn is the King of Gondor.
Also the
wood elves in this story are a bit like the Nac Mac Feegle in Terry
Pratchets Discworld. They are not blue and tiny but they are rude,
fierce, extraordinarily strong and tough. The Noldor are more refined,
not as strong [I really don't like the Noldor] and spend all their time
singing and dancing.
Prologue
Aragorn couldn't
believe it, he really couldn't. It was not true, it could not be
possible. But the fact remained that it was. His southern Patrol had
caught an elf.
At first he had been sceptical, heck he had even
thought that they had lost their minds not to mention their
self-preservation. But as he sat on his throne in the ornate Hall of
Kings, listening asthe elf and guards cussing filtered through the heavy
door he was forced to rethink what he had been taught. The air was
entirely too blue to come out of a Fairy Tale.
The great doors
opened with a groan and the weary members of the patrol filtered
through, two men dragging the elf between them. Aragorn blinked when he
saw the thick iron bands securing the elf's hands behind his back and
binding his feet together.
The captain stepped forth, is forehead
wrapped heavily in bandages. Aragorn blinked once more as he noted the
dishevelled appearance of Boromir, closer scrutiny on Aragorn's part
revealed that Boromir's eyes were slightly unfocused. Either he's been
drinking, Aragorn thought, or he's concussed. What has he been doing?
Trading head butts with a mumukil?
"My Lord", Boromir said,
motioning towards the kneeling elf, "Here is the elf". The captain
signalled to the two guards who brought forth the fair being. Aragorn's
eyes widened as he beheld such an angelic beauty. The elf was delicate,
with sharp green eyes and pale skin. His hair, because despite the
unearthly beauty Aragorn clearly recognised the being as male, was a
dark shade of red. The elf was tall, slender and frail looking, making
Aragorn wonder why the patrol had such difficulty detaining such a
fragile creature.
He was also gagged.
"Take off the gag", Aragorn ordered.
"Bu-"Boromir began before he was paralysed by Aragorn's imperios and icy glare.
"Do
it", was the King's curt order. Focused as he was on his captain
Aragorn completely missed the elf narrow his eyes at his regal tone, a
wicked smile playing across his lips before disappearing behind a mask
of cool indifference.
A guard promptly removed the gag.
Aragorn
got off is throne and knelt before the fair being. "Tell me elf", he
began, "What were you doing in Gondor's borders? Mayhap you are a spy".
The
elf motioned for Aragorn to move closer, and the King promptly did so
until he was three inches away from the elf's face. The elf smiled…and
then spat on him.
Aragorn reeled away, socked, wiping the spittle
off in disgust. Boromir turned and, before Aragorn could stop him,
viciously backhanded the elf. To the shock of all he wasn't knocked out
by the blow even though his head snapped to the side with a loud crack.
In that moment the elf decided that he was going to make this king's
life hell.
He fixed his penetrating stare on the King. "This is
Gondor?" The elf spat, scorn dripping off is tongue like poison. "I am
disappointed, my sisters doll house is bigger then this".
Fury swept over Aragorn. No one insults his city, no one.
"Put him in the dungeon", the King spat, "Mayhap a spell with the inquisitors will make your tongue loosen".
The elf swore violently at him. "Go gcreime cúnna ifrinn do bhall fearga".
And then he was gone, whisked down towards the bowels of Minas Tirith.
TBC
Translations
'Go gcreime cúnna ifrinn do bhall fearga' is gaelic for May the hounds of hell gnaw at your manly part.